Friday, February 01, 2008


Had lunch with a wonderful friend today. We've known each other forever. When you are 63, that is a long time.

I have know for a long time that she was unhappy in her marriage; maybe even longer than she's known. We skirted the edges of her unhappiness at birthday lunches but never really acknowledged the elephant in the corner. I just didn't have the courage to tell her that I knew how much pain she was in and that I thought she should throw the bastard out.

Today she sort of came clean and told me how awful it is. I told her that I knew from the very beginning of the marriage that she was going to be made to feel unimportant and not very bright. She is none of those things. I did beat her in a spelling bee in 6th grade but that was the last time I beat her.

Her situation reminded me so much of my marriage. In my husband's eyes I couldn't do anything right. With the help of a wonderful therapist I finally began to discover that I'm okay; it's the other person who is struggling with self esteem. In order to feel good, he had to put me down.

I think my friend began to see a glimmer of hope today. It's going to be tough for her and I don't know what the end will be, but I feel good about the honesty I showed her today.

Say a prayer for her; she will need it.


dykewife said...

i hope she's able to gather what she needs within and get out of the situation she's in. everyone has a right to happy relationships and doesn't have to put up with ones that are unhealthy.

blogauthor said...

I have a friend that was in a similar situation. I hope that your friend does the right thing for herself. It will be painful in the short term, as we both know, but a great thing in the long term.

Rhonda said...

I will.